You know this part
You're terrified your impatience, your phone use, your exhaustion are being metabolized by your children as "Mom doesn't want to be here." — she does.
The gentle parenting you aspire to is performative. Your real parenting — the snapping, the shortcuts, the screen time — feels like the truth.
You follow 40 parenting accounts and feel worse after scrolling every single one. — same.
You said "in a minute" fourteen times before 9am. You googled "am I yelling too much at my kids" on your lunch break.
Other mothers seem to be actually enjoying this. You're white-knuckling it.